So, for some people, two years of agony have come to an end. Congratulations. Whilst my journey has yet to reached the finale, I can almost see the finishing point now. Once the finishing point comes into sight, everything will become more smooth-sailing. And what separates this nightmare and the reality is merely time. As the clock ticks away, I know that, slowly but surely, I'm coming to an awakening, an awakening from this nightmare. Do you still remember how you felt when you knew you had to go through this long, tumultous journey? I was rather optimistic about it, in fact, looking forward to knowing what I can learn in this journey. Well, no one can fault me for that. I was indeed optimistic about it, because, after all, my life till then had been so smooth-sailing. I was probably wondering to myself, "What could possibly go wrong?" Unfortunately, with a mindset filled with so much expectations, it inevitably turned out as a great disappointment. No, it's not because I didn't learn anything. In fact, I learnt more that I could ever had. I learnt probably the most important facts of life than I'd ever learn. Of course, I learnt the most cruel facts than I'd ever known, or I'd ever want to know. Life has never been so real before. It was as if the eighteen years I've lived were all fictitious, were all a lie. It seemed almost like a miracle that my life had been so smooth. I don't deny that I've encountered more obstacles during these 2 years (or less) than in the 18 years before. I felt more agony, more hatred, despair, disappointment and uncertainty than ever in my life. This, was the fact of life, I learnt.
Like the saying goes, there are two sides to a coin. There are more than these obstacles I encountered. I learnt how to toughen myself, how to get myself out of unnecessary trouble, how to reject, and most importantly, how to pick myself up when I fall. These were the skills that I picked up when I was struggling during those days of training. I suddenly lost faith in everything. I suddenly lost the flame of hope in my heart. And as I was frantically trying to rediscover myself, I picked up these skills. Now that the flame has been revived, it's burning stronger than ever. As the clock counts down to the end of this, I'm preparing myself to step out of this dream to face the reality.
Maybe I wasn't ready just yet to face the challenges ahead. Maybe I'd have crumpled under the pressure of the world out there. But having learnt the wisdom and skills of life, and propelled by the flame of passion now, I'm ready to face D-Day, the first day of my second life.
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