Remember this advertisement on TV about handphones? It says, you spend 1/3 of your life waiting, or something to that extent. I wonder if it's true. Waiting, sometimes, can be subjective.
According to the 1st definition of 'wait' on dictionary.com, it means to remain inactive or in a state of repose, as until something expected happens. So, we 'wait' when we sit or stand at the bus stop, remaining inactive, until something expected happens, that is, the bus comes. We 'wait' when we prone in the tall grass by the side of the road, with our rifles pointing to the frong, remaining inactive (or most of the time, sleeping), until something expected happens, that is, enemy comes, or time is up. These are obvious examples of 'waiting' in our lives. However, do we 'wait' when we are active, while simultaneously, we are expecting something to happen in the near future? For example, for now, I'm leading my daily life, doing my everyday routine, preparing for university, while waiting for NS to end.
Perhaps this shows a stark contrast in the lives led in the past, and in the present. In the past, people probably do not have so many things to do, so they do 'one thing at a time'. In contrast, in the present day, the world is changing so quickly that we have to react correspondingly in order to survive. Ultimately, we are the ones who start a change, and when there is an action, there's bound to be a reaction. In the end, we are the ones to react to our own actions. There probably isn't a time where we can just 'wait' and do nothing.
Well, enough of philosophical thoughts! Let's get down to Earth!
Saturday, 13 October 2007
Thursday, 11 October 2007
ULOC
Imagine a traffic accident. Two cars crashed. The involved parties are debating on the accident. The police are interrogating a few witnesses who were previously present at the scene. A few passers-by stopped by and watched. At this point in time, what goes through the minds of these different groups of people?
The involved parties are in the midst of a heated argument, as they are directly involved in this accident. The ultimate decision will affect them the most. The witnesses are partially involved, as their words and actions will affect the ultimate decision made. However, these witnesses are not in the least interested as they won't benefit much from this interrogation. They just happened to be passers-by when the accident took place. Lastly, the passers-by are merely bystanders; so they are not involved in this accident in any way. Neither are they interested. For the passers-by and witnesses, it is a matter of time before they leave the scene.
Well, perhaps just a wild imagination on my part. An analogy of regulars, NSmen and NSFs. Regulars are the most involved as it affects them the most. NSFs are the passers-by. NSmen were the passers-by before they were called by the police for interrogation as witnesses. At ULOC (a course that I'm currently attending), these three species of people work and learn together. I find it quite an interesting mix as you can imagine the involved parties, the witnesses and the passers-by come together for a common aim. It's rather fascinating and unimaginable.
Sometimes, I feel happy and comforted when I look at NSmen. It's like a peak into my future. And there are always things to learn when we get together with different kinds of people. Although at times, the genre of topics we talk about do not match, it shows us what kind of lifes we might be living in ten years' time.
Ten years might seem like long and daunting, but tell you the truth, I'm too excited about my future. I can't wait to see what awaits me in this huge package of surprise. My heart is bursting with delirium.
The involved parties are in the midst of a heated argument, as they are directly involved in this accident. The ultimate decision will affect them the most. The witnesses are partially involved, as their words and actions will affect the ultimate decision made. However, these witnesses are not in the least interested as they won't benefit much from this interrogation. They just happened to be passers-by when the accident took place. Lastly, the passers-by are merely bystanders; so they are not involved in this accident in any way. Neither are they interested. For the passers-by and witnesses, it is a matter of time before they leave the scene.
Well, perhaps just a wild imagination on my part. An analogy of regulars, NSmen and NSFs. Regulars are the most involved as it affects them the most. NSFs are the passers-by. NSmen were the passers-by before they were called by the police for interrogation as witnesses. At ULOC (a course that I'm currently attending), these three species of people work and learn together. I find it quite an interesting mix as you can imagine the involved parties, the witnesses and the passers-by come together for a common aim. It's rather fascinating and unimaginable.
Sometimes, I feel happy and comforted when I look at NSmen. It's like a peak into my future. And there are always things to learn when we get together with different kinds of people. Although at times, the genre of topics we talk about do not match, it shows us what kind of lifes we might be living in ten years' time.
Ten years might seem like long and daunting, but tell you the truth, I'm too excited about my future. I can't wait to see what awaits me in this huge package of surprise. My heart is bursting with delirium.
A Second Life
So, for some people, two years of agony have come to an end. Congratulations. Whilst my journey has yet to reached the finale, I can almost see the finishing point now. Once the finishing point comes into sight, everything will become more smooth-sailing. And what separates this nightmare and the reality is merely time. As the clock ticks away, I know that, slowly but surely, I'm coming to an awakening, an awakening from this nightmare. Do you still remember how you felt when you knew you had to go through this long, tumultous journey? I was rather optimistic about it, in fact, looking forward to knowing what I can learn in this journey. Well, no one can fault me for that. I was indeed optimistic about it, because, after all, my life till then had been so smooth-sailing. I was probably wondering to myself, "What could possibly go wrong?" Unfortunately, with a mindset filled with so much expectations, it inevitably turned out as a great disappointment. No, it's not because I didn't learn anything. In fact, I learnt more that I could ever had. I learnt probably the most important facts of life than I'd ever learn. Of course, I learnt the most cruel facts than I'd ever known, or I'd ever want to know. Life has never been so real before. It was as if the eighteen years I've lived were all fictitious, were all a lie. It seemed almost like a miracle that my life had been so smooth. I don't deny that I've encountered more obstacles during these 2 years (or less) than in the 18 years before. I felt more agony, more hatred, despair, disappointment and uncertainty than ever in my life. This, was the fact of life, I learnt.
Like the saying goes, there are two sides to a coin. There are more than these obstacles I encountered. I learnt how to toughen myself, how to get myself out of unnecessary trouble, how to reject, and most importantly, how to pick myself up when I fall. These were the skills that I picked up when I was struggling during those days of training. I suddenly lost faith in everything. I suddenly lost the flame of hope in my heart. And as I was frantically trying to rediscover myself, I picked up these skills. Now that the flame has been revived, it's burning stronger than ever. As the clock counts down to the end of this, I'm preparing myself to step out of this dream to face the reality.
Maybe I wasn't ready just yet to face the challenges ahead. Maybe I'd have crumpled under the pressure of the world out there. But having learnt the wisdom and skills of life, and propelled by the flame of passion now, I'm ready to face D-Day, the first day of my second life.
Like the saying goes, there are two sides to a coin. There are more than these obstacles I encountered. I learnt how to toughen myself, how to get myself out of unnecessary trouble, how to reject, and most importantly, how to pick myself up when I fall. These were the skills that I picked up when I was struggling during those days of training. I suddenly lost faith in everything. I suddenly lost the flame of hope in my heart. And as I was frantically trying to rediscover myself, I picked up these skills. Now that the flame has been revived, it's burning stronger than ever. As the clock counts down to the end of this, I'm preparing myself to step out of this dream to face the reality.
Maybe I wasn't ready just yet to face the challenges ahead. Maybe I'd have crumpled under the pressure of the world out there. But having learnt the wisdom and skills of life, and propelled by the flame of passion now, I'm ready to face D-Day, the first day of my second life.
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